Time Heals is my anthology of poems that I’ve written throughout the years and each and every poem is written from the heart.
The central theme is Narcissism Awareness, but it also explores ethics and topics such as animal testing and war.
It’s an inner journey, seeking truth, and also a commentary on life from the perspective from someone who is both awakened and a Narcissist survivor.
For many years I was an absolute Narcissist magnet. I didn’t have strong boundaries, and it was a long journey learning how to reinforce them and assert myself. My poems echo much of this and it’s only 5 years on that I am able to fully process what happened and forgive myself for becoming ensnared in the Narcissists traps. I am now stronger mentally as a result, and whilst there are occasional triggers, I can focus on being my best self. When you reach rock bottom, you find your foundations. From there you will build a much stronger self. You will learn your value and the place in the world and you will be more intuitive.
My first experience of being with an abusive partner was at university in my early 20’s, with an overt narcissist who was cruel and vicious. He was hostile, aggressive and violent and he would smash up my property or tear up my essays. Behind my back, he slept with whoever he wanted and stole money from me. He had various flying monkeys (like the flying monkeys who support the evil witch in the wizard of Oz and carry out her evil bidding) such as his Mother who insisted that her precious boy couldn’t do a single thing wrong. Our group of friends were scared of him and acted as if his behaviour was normal, so I often thought I was going crazy because no one else could seem to see what was happening. It was only later when he was off the scene that the group of friends admitted that he was bad news, but they just didn’t know how to deal with it!
We were both at university and when he went travelling for a year, I cut all contact and blocked him. He tried to make contact again later in various ways and again the block button came in very handy. This is the only way to deal with someone who is toxic and dangerous, remove them from your life.
Several years later I found myself with a Covert Narcissist. It’s often very hard to identify a covert, they will pretend to be your biggest ally and when they start their games of manipulation they claim things like, “I’m only thinking what’s best for you.” A covert will smile sweetly, whilst sabotaging your every move.
Narcissists tend to choose people that are empathic and capable of things that they are not. This is so they can get their needs met and use you for Narcissistic supply (energy/sex/money/favours). In the beginning, they will idolise you for these qualities, but somewhere down the line, they will start to devalue you and resent you for the things you can achieve and do. They will see you as a rival and your every achievement will be a Narcissistic injury to them, triggering them to act out in ways that hurt you.
A covert Narc would do this in subtle ways, such as telling you that you are mistaken and misunderstood them when they say something hurtful. They may hide your property from you, break things on purpose while claiming innocence, or deliberately sabotage a project of yours. They will make barbed comments disguised as jokes, give backhanded compliments, or they may be dismissive of your feelings or indifferent to your successes. They want you to feel inferior as they feel this will make you stay with them, so they will do everything in their power to try to undermine you and destroy your confidence.
They may hold you and tell you that they would help you if it was in the power, all whilst they are plotting how to get back at you next.
You may see the red flags and a swirling feeling in your stomach telling you to get out, but by then they have isolated you from everyone, ruined your finances and left you doubting your own thoughts and existence. It was 8 years before I built up the courage to leave the covert Narc and I want to raise awareness and help anyone else who feels that they are in a similar situation and are losing their mind. The Narcissist always likes to make you feel is if you are the crazy one, but trust me, it’s not you, it’s them!
I believe humanity is going through an evolution of awareness and we are on a quest to raise our positive vibrations, become more aware and learn how to pay it forward and help one another. My aim isn’t to make money from my book of poems, I have listed it for free on Amazon Kindle so it can reach as many people as possible. Perhaps you will be able to relate to it, and it may bring you some comfort and the realisation that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Whether you are struggling with a toxic relationship with a partner, family member, friend or boss, or whether you are a Narcissist survivor, I want you to know that you are not alone and that there are many support groups online and on social media. The Narc relies on your silence and expects you to keep his or her abuse a secret. This way they can isolate you and convince you that you are the problem, instead of them. Ensure you build up a network of supporters, and find people who are going through or have gone through similar things. Whatever you do, don’t isolate yourself further or think that you are the problem. Read lots of books and articles about Narcissism, and take back your power. Knowledge really is power when it comes to being a Narcissists pack lunch!
I will include some resources below which you may find useful.
https://www.theechosociety.org.uk/support-for-you
